Update

I went to the hospital yesterday after the maintenance guy left. I was seen pretty quickly. They put me on oxygen for about an hour or so, drew blood for a blood gas test, and gave me some Tylenol for my headache. Once the blood gas test came back they saw I wasn't so bad that I had to be admitted, but it was close. They just kept telling me to go to sleep. I couldn't stop yawning, and I mean huge forever long yawns. The doctor said that I needed to sleep because that's what my brain was wanting to do because of it's lack of oxygen. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what he said, things were fuzzy. I felt weird. It was as if everything around me was in slow motion, they would have to ask me questions a couple of times for me to get what they were saying to me. So after having me on the oxygen and letting me sleep for a bit they gave me Lortab for headaches and sent me home the the instructions to go home and sleep.
I was so scared that I was going to lose conciousness right there with my kids on the couch and them have no clue what was going on. That's definitely been one of my biggest fears since my husband has been gone, that something would happen to me and my kids would be left on their own until they figured out to pick up the phone and call someone or one of my friends noticed they hadn't heard from me in a while. I tell you what, after this I won't live in another place that has gas again. I had no idea that I had to do anything if they turned the gas out. You don't have to with electricity. You'd think they would let people know these things instead of just assuming that we all know what to do with gas. Could you imagine the phone call my husband would have gotten in Iraq...

What's a Little Poisoning Among Friends?

I think I have carbon monoxide poisoning. Yesterday maintenance put a note on my door saying they were going to work on the gas lines and that our gas would be out for about 3 hours. I didn't think much of this. I was able to cook last night, so figured the gas was back on. I get up this morning and notice a touch of a gas odor in the kitchen. Again, I didn't think much of it. I got another note saying they were turning the gas off again to do more work. We run up the street to do an errand and come back about 20 minutes later. The house now has a stronger smell of gas. It kinda worries me, but I just figure it has something to do with the gas being out. We go to do some grocery shopping and come back to being smacked in the face with gas. So I figure this is probably not good. I call maintenance and sit on hold for about 15 minutes before they're able to answer the phone. Then it takes the tech about 15 minutes to come to the house. So I have now spent about 20 minutes in my kitchen putting away the groceries, straightening up, etc. He comes out says the pilot lights were out, relights them and goes on his way. Also says he knows nothing of the gas being out again today, even though I received a note saying so. I figure all is well, open up some windows to air the place out and start to make the kids some lunch. Except the smell in the kitchen seems to be getting worse. And I am now feeling light headed and sick to my stomach. I try to start one of the burners and it won't come on. So I call them back and tell them the stove is still out. That was 10 minutes ago. I'm still waiting for him to come back out. And I'm really getting freaked out that the kids are going to get sick too. As soon as he gets his ass over here, we are leaving. I don't know where we're heading but we have to get out of this house until the gas is aired out. I am truly feeling sick now. Think I might need to call the hospital...

Rolls Eyes

I don't understand people sometimes. I mean, I guess since we post our lives on these blogs for the whole world to see we should be prepared for negativity. But, damn! I just don't get it. Why would you go to someone's blog and then post mean/rude/degrading comments when they didn't do anything to offend you? My friend, Eddie, put a pic of his wife on his blog and someone thought it would be funny to make a downright nasty comment about her. *mumbles...I just don't get it*

I've had an interesting revelation the last couple of days. You know I've felt like this a few times over the last several months, but this time is more serious to me. I think I just need to back away from everyone in my life; just stick to myself and my kids. Let the rest of the world fall down around me and not care. My parents are divorcing after 23 years, my friends think I'm shit, this whole Iraq crap is messed up... I'm just so tired of all the excess drama in my life. Sitting around for the last 11 months waiting for my husband to come back home has totally drained me of everything I am. I don't even think I'm the same person I was back in January. Actually I know I'm not. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. My life is slipping out of my hands a little more each day.
Am I being overdramatic? Probably, but at this point I don't give a damn. This war has done so much more damage than what you see on the news. They don't talk about the emotional damage, the family turmoil, the lives put on hold for a year or more. The only thing the media wants you to see, depending on which side you're on, is how much good we're doing over there or how many soldiers have died that day. They don't tell you about the soldiers standing in line for two hours to get online to argue with their wives about money or the kids for 30 minutes on the computer. They don't show the temper tantrums the kids throw because they are having a much more difficult time hearing the word "no" since mommy or daddy has been gone. They don't show the wife crying herself to sleep at night because she was pushed to her absolute limit that day for the 4th day in a row. They don't show the wife with the two toddlers and an infant trying to figure out how to get the groceries and the kids in the car at the same time. They don't show the dad trying to figure out how to cook, clean the house and read bedtime stories just like mom does each day.
My time for all this is coming to a close, I have about six more weeks of it. But there will be so many more after me. The day I'm getting my husband back will be the same day some other wife is having to tell hers goodbye for a year. What's it all for? Was it worth it? To me, the price is too high, and what do I have to show for it? A scattered brain, damaged children and a blackhole where my happiness once was. Not sure right now whether I'll keep blogging or not, sitting here staring at the screen with a keyboard in my lap is...well I can't even think of an analogy for it. It just hurts.

Yeah So...

I keep forgetting about this thing. It's amazing with as addicted as I was that I have completely forgotten it's here. I also don't have that much to blog about lately other than whining about crap going on with me.

The latest news on Ray is that he'll be home the first week of January. ^_^ Woohoo! Can I even put into words how excited I am?!

Tonight was the last football practice. Saturday is their last game. I heard tonight that they are in 3rd place...not too bad for a group of first-timers who started out losing their first few games. They whooped up on the team they played Tuesday. It was so cool b/c that team beat them when they played here, and one of the dads was really rude. Hahahahaha! My son is nervous about their game Saturday. It's against the other team on post, his team has lost to them twice already. His best friend is on that team too. So I'm sure he's been subjected to all kinds of smack-talking. It would be really good for the boys to win this one. Keep your fingers crossed for them.

Well, that's about all I have for now. I'm kinda boring lately. I'll have to think of something more to write about. :)

Big Surprise!

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Who would have thought that my inner hair color would be pink?! For those of you who don't actually know me I'll fill you in... My closet looks like a bottle of pepto bismol got shook up and sprayed all over the place. When I go out shopping my kids and friends only point out the pink things to me. ^_^

**As if I have to point that out; you should be able to tell just by this blog layout.

Stress!!!!!!!

How long has it been since I've blogged? I've really lost track. I am so losing my mind the closer it gets to my husband coming home/the longer he's been gone. It is said that stress can cause your memory to not function at it's best. Man, I am living proof of that! I can't remember the simplest things anymore. This blog being one of them. The only reason why I can remember to take the kids to their sports is because they constantly ask me about it. (Which, btw, soccer is done!! So I'm just down to football now!) I figured I would make a list of things I consistently forget to do (so maybe I can look back at this and remember):
1. Feed the cat.
2. Feed the dog.
3. Send mail to my husband.
4. Brush my teeth.
5. Do laundry.
6. Wash dishes.
7. Take video games/movies back on time.
8. Pay the bills.
9. Prepare for my scouts meetings.
10. Cut my hair.
11. Cut the kids hair.
12. Pack a lunch for son#2 to take to school.
13. Why am I making this list?
14. Make doctors appointments.
15. Give son#1 his meds. (Big headache when I forget this one!!)
Ok, I've forgotten the rest I was going to add. Oh well. I'm sure I'll remember tomorrow or next week or some other time in the near to distant future. I am just tired, stressed and all around worn down. I think I would trade places with my husband in a heartbeat. Yes, I just admitted I would rather be in a war-torn country, battling for my life on a daily basis than be stuck here taking care of all the shit that gets left behind for the spouses to do. He told me not too long after he went over there that he wouldn't trade with me. So even he would rather be in a war-torn country, battling for his life on a daily basis than be stuck here taking care of all the shit that gets left behind for me to do. I think I am going to ask for a one-year vacation from all the household duties, including taking care of the brats, when he gets home. Do you think that will fly? o_O